Big Bad Wolf ram
by Female Shinigami
Summary: Greta seams to like bed time stories from earth, one in particular. When Wolfram tells Yuuri her birthday is getting closer, Yuuri has a crazy idea for a present... and so the madness starts : Lots of humor and a touch of Wolyuu/Yuuram hints.


**Author:** femaleshinigami

**Title**: 'Big Bad Wolf... ram'

**Rating**: PG-13/T

**Warnings:** silly and stupid, cute and light, with a touch of abuse of children stories.

**Characters/Pairings:** Mainly Yuuri, Wolfram and Greta, Yuuram/Wolyuu hints, and most of the KKM cast makes an appearance ;)

**Beta:** by the wonderful natashabakery!! Thank you very much for the help, honey! It's very appreaciated! hugs tight Beta's are love, aren't they? :D

**AN:** Written for my awesome friend allemea known also as Ferris-s who's birthday was yesterday 26'th of May. It's a present for her and I hope she likes it She'll stay my own, personal Yuuri forever, and my yaoi-god, the person who watched yaoi with me until late night hours. I love you, sweety! hugs tight

"It's time for bed, Greta" Yuuri smiled at his daughter, and helped her change into her nightclothes.

"Will you tell me a story, please?" the child looked at him pleadingly, and he could never resist her when she did that. Besides, he knew Greta loved to hear stories from his world, since they were usually very different from those that the children in Shin Makoku heard.

"Sure, just hop into bed, and I'll be right there," he said, changing into his own nightclothes, and then slipping under the covers.

"Hmm... What story should I tell... How about 'Little Red Riding Hood'?"

"Is it a nice story?"

"It's a little scary, but ends good, and all the kids from my world know it." Yuuri assured the child.

"Ok, then," she replied happily and settled down to listen to the story. While Yuuri told her about Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf, Greta listened in rapt fascination, asking a question here and there, gasping when the grandmother was eaten, and then cheering when the woodcutter rescued her. However she was still concerned about the wolf, "The woodcutter didn't kill the wolf, did he? He was just hungry..." she looked at her 'dad' with innocence only a child can have.

"Of course he didn't, Greta," Yuuri smiled to reasure her, "The woodcutter took the Big Bad Wolf far, far into the woods and left him there, so he wouldn't bother any more hu-" he stopped himself abruptly. That's why it was hard to tell stories from earth... here, the humans and Mazoku didn't exactly get along... he sighed and tried again, "so he wouldn't bother anyone anymore."

He finished the story, and asked if she liked it.

"It was great! I like it more than Snow White or, or... Cin- cindaral..."

"Cinderella."

"Yeah, Cindarela. They were nice, but the princesses were so mature, and beautiful, and Little Red Riding Hood is a girl like me!"

There came a soft snort from near the door, and both Yuuri and Greta turned to look that way, "Wolfram!"

"You are a princess too, you know." the blonde said seriously, his arms crossed over his chest, looking kind of silly in his pink nightgown.

"I am?!" the girl gasped excitedly.

"Of course! As the daughter of the Maou, adopted or not, you are formally a princess of Shin Makoku."

Greta squealed happily, jumping up and down in the bed. Yuuri noticed Wolfram smiling a little while looking at her, and was once again surprised at how much the other boy seemed to change since he first got to know him.

After some time, Greta finally settled down and fell asleep. Yuuri moved to the middle of the bed, making room for Wolfram to lie beside him.

"Greta's birthday is in two weeks," the blonde announced suddenly.

"Really?" Yuuri said, surprised. He felt a little bit bad, that he still did not know such things about his friends here in Shin Makoku. Maybe he should try spending more time in here, taking Wolfram and Greta for a picnic from time to time or at least spending some time away from his office and the endless stacks of papers...

"We should think about a suitable present for her. And we need to send invitations to the guests, think about entertainment, food..." Wolfram went on about the preparations, while Yuuri tuned his voice out. He looked at his sleeping daughter and an idea suddenly struck him... Maybe they could... but he would have to ask Anissina...

The boy felt a weight settle partly on top of him. He looked down and saw Wolfram cuddled against his side, the blond's head resting on his shoulder, "Wolfram, can't you sleep on your side of the bed?" he asked, exasperatedly.

His only response was a mumbled 'hennachoco' from the already sleeping Wolfram.

* * *

"Who's idea was this again?" Yuuri grumbled as he sat heavily on the floor.

"Yours, you wimp! It's for our daughter, so don't whine and get to work!" Wolfram yelled at him, standing nearby with some papers in his hands. There were a dozen of people running this way and that in one of the bigger conferance rooms in the castle, the tables moved to the sides, with some chairs scattered around. The low hum of activity was interrupted by an abrupt opening of the doors, and Anissina entering, with Dacascos, who was carrying a huge box, following soon behind her. The box was deposited in the middle of the floor, and Anissina started proudly pulling out its contents,"We finished all the costumes. I need you all to try them on, and we can start practicing in them. Gwendal, how about you being first?"

The noice of someone running from the room could be heard from the hallway, and Gwendal was nowhere to be seen.

Yuuri went to see his own, simple outfit, happy with the way it looked, hoping it would also be comfortable. He was about to go change, when his ear drums nearly exploded.

"NO WAY!" Wolfram bellowed right next to him, and the black haired boy dropped his costume to clutch his hands over his ringing ears, "What's the matter _now_..."

"I will not wear this... this... thing!" the blonde pointed to his own costume.

"What's wrong with it?" Anissina asked dangerously, and Wolframs attitude deflated a little.

"It's... it's... I will not... " He stammered, seaming to shrink, while the red haired woman glared at him.

"Ah... Wolfram... _It's for our doughter, so don't whine and get to work!_"

Yuuri quoted the other boy with an evil smirk on his face, enjoying his fiance's well-deserved scolding.

Wolfram saw the smirk on Yuuri's face, threw another look at Anissina, and with an angry: "Wimp!" stuck his nose in the air, and went to change into his costume, the chuckles of more than one person following after him.

* * *

A huge scene was standing on one end of the castles courtyard, a few rows of chairs, a small raised platform in the middle of them, and many, many rows of low benches behind them, facing it. It was early morning, but most of the castles occupants were already up, running around like crazy, making last minute preparations for the upcoming event.

Greta woke up excited, not remembering a time when someone made a birtday party for her. She was talking non stop, asking Yuuri, Wolfram, even Gwendal, hundreds of questions about the upcoming party, about the presents, the guests, and so on. It was only when Gisela, Doria and Sangria came and told her they needed to get ready, that the girl left the side of her 'fathers'.

Noon came, with the castle bells announcing the official start of the celebration. The first part was rather boring for most, but still necacery, at least acording to Gunter.

Both Greta and Yuuri insisted that all children from Shin Makoku be welcome to join the party, which was why now the guards were trying to make an excited mob of children settle down on the wooden benches in the courtyard. When that was done, all the children from the noble families and other countries, like little master Lindsay von Wincott or, Lady Beatrice, took their places on the chairs in the first two rows. Beatrice was asked to take one of the chairs on the small podium, since she was considered to be a friend of both Greta and Yuuri. Soon Nikola, with her child in her arms, came to sit with her, a single chair on the podium being left, for the guest of honor to sit on. Gunter brought her in, before stepped on the stage and said all the necessary and boring stuff, while all the children ignored him. Once finished, he disappeared again, and soft music started playing, making a quiet and excited hush fall over all the children. Greta squirmed in her chair impatiently; waiting for the 'special present' Yuuri said they had prepared for her.

A part of the curtain came up, and revealed Anissina, sitting in a high chair, with a huge book on her lap. With a clear and loud voice, enhanced by one of her many inventions, she started telling a story, that made Greta laugh happily once she recognised it.

_Once upon a time, there was a little girl, a pretty little thing, who lived in a village near the forest. Whenever she went out, the little girl wore a red riding cloak that suited her well, so everyone in the village called her Little Red Riding Hood_. _Her mother was excessively fond of her; and her grandmother doted on her still more. _

Another part of the curtain came up, and a small house came into view, Yuuri, dresed in a preatty dress and a red riding hood and Lady Cheri in a simple blue dress standing before it. The chilren squealed and yelled happily, making Yuuri blush, while Lady Cecilie waved at them all with a smile.

_One day her mother, having made some cakes, said to her: _

"Go, my dear," Cheri turned to Yuuri and addressed him in her high voice, the same she used when she thought the king or her youngest son made something exceptionally cute, "and see how your grandmother is doing, for I hear she has been very ill. Take her a cake, and this little pot of butter," she finished, giving Yuuri a basket covered with a cloth, which she had been previously holding.

"Remember, go straight to Grandma's house," Cheri shook her finger at the Maou, one hand resting on her hip, "Don't dawdle along the way and please don't talk to strangers! The woods are dangerous."

"Don't worry, mommy," said Yuri with a smile, "I'll be careful." a snort was heard from somewhere off stage, and 'Little Red Riding Hood' glared that way.

Yuuri kissed Cheri on the cheek, and with a small wave, went off stage. He made sure to get away before she gave him one of her famous face-in-the-breasts hugs, which he was subjected to countless times during the rehersals. The curtain fell over them again, leaving only Anissina in her chair.

_As she was going through the wood, she met with a wolf, who had a very great mind to eat her up, but he dared not, because of some woodcutters working nearby in the forest_.

The curtain came up once more, and showed Yuuri in his dress and red hood, skipping happily along the stage, fake trees painted behind him. Yozak and Conrad were chopping wood in one corner, dressed as the woodcutters and Gwendal, standing in the middle, dressed in a tree costume, his arms streached out as branches, only his face showing, with a grim and slightly annoyed expression. Greta and Nikola almost fell from their chairs laughing, but soon forgot about Gwendal, when the next person entered the stage.

Wolfram stomped in, dressed as the Big Bad Wolf, complete with paws, a cute tail, and a big head, with his face showing in the mouth of the 'wolf'. His blond locks were sticking out between the fake teeth, making him look hilarious.

_Little Red Riding Hood noticed some lovely flowers in the woods, and promptly forgot her promise to her mother. She picked a few, watching the butterflies flutter around for a while, listening to the frogs croaking and then picking a few more blossoms. _

_Little Red Riding Hood was enjoying the warm summer day so much, that she didn't notice the dark shadow approaching out of the forest behind her_.

Wolfram stopped next to Yuuri and bowed to him in greeting, "Good day, little miss. Where are you going on such a lovely day?"

_The poor child, who did not know that it was dangerous to stay and talk to a wolf, said to him_:

"I'm on my way to see my Grandma who lives through the forest, near the brook," Yuuri replied, " I'm carrying a cake and a little pot of butter from my mother for her, because she is not feeling well." And he showed the basket he was carrying to the 'wolf'.

"Then you better hurry off, little girl. Take the road near the big oak tree, and you shall be at your grandmother's house in no time at all." Wolfram was saying all this with his arms straight at his sides, fists clenched and an embarrassed blush on his face, making Yuuri chuckle lightly at him.

_Little Red Riding Hood quickly excused herself, rushing down the path to her Grandma's house. _

_The wolf ran as fast as he could, taking the shortest path, while the little girl took a roundabout way, entertaining herself by gathering nuts, running after butterflies, and gathering bouquets of little flowers. It was not long before the wolf arrived at the old woman's house_.

Yuuri dissapeared again, while the blond aproached another part of the stage, where the curtain came up, a door, and the inside of a small house appearing before the audience. In the house, a big bed stood, with Gunter, dressed in a nightgown suspiciously similar to the one Wolfram wore to bed, laying in it.

The 'wolf' knocked loudly on the door.

"Who's there?" came Gunter's squeaky voice from the bed.

"Your grandchild, Little Red Riding Hood," replied Wolfram, trying to immitate Yuuri's voice, and falling miserably, sounding more like he was in pain.

_The good grandmother, who was in bed, because she was somewhat ill, told the wolf to come in, thinking he was really her grandchild. The wolf came in and immediately fell upon, quickly eating her up in a snap, for it been more than three days since he had eaten_.

Wolfram jumped on the bed, and Gunter let out a high shriek, then rolled to the floor hidden from the audience, making it look as if Wolfram ate him. The children in the audience yelled and 'boo'ed, with the exception of some boys that cheered the wolf on.

_The wolf let out a satisfied burp, and then poked through Granny's wardrobe to find a nightgown that he liked. He added a frilly sleeping cap, and for good measure, dabbed some of Granny's perfume behind his pointy ears_. Anissina continued her story, while Wolfram moved arround the stage, doing what she described. Finaly he lay in the bed under the covers, and waited for 'Little Red Riding Hood' to arrive.

Yuuri re-entered the stage, coming in a bouncy walk to the door and knocking on it the way Wolfram did.

"Who is it?" Wolfram tried to make his voice sound more like an old woman's, which made all the kids laugh.

"It is your grandchild Little Red Riding Hood, who is bringing you a cake and a little pot of butter mother sends you."

"Oh how lovely! Do come in, my dear," Yuuri opened the door and came into grandma's house.

_When Little Red Riding Hood entered the little cottage, she could scarcely recognize her Grandmother. The wolf, seeing her come in, said to her, hiding himself under the bedclothes_,

"Put the cake and the little pot of butter upon the stool, and come get into bed with me." Wolfram patted the bed next to him, giving Yuuri a small leer, making his fiancé's eye twitch.

He aproached the bed and pulled up the covers, pretending to gasp in surprise at what he saw, "Grandmother, what big arms you have!"

"All the better to hug you with, my dear," replied Wolfram, reaching his arms out to Yuuri as if asking for said hug.

"Grandmother, what big legs you have!" the 'Red Riding Hood' went on.

"I do NOT!" growled the blond indingnantly, catching himself only when Yuuri threw him a murderous glare, looking for all the world as if he was about to turn into the Maou.

"I, I mean... All the better to run with, my child."

The children seamed to not have noticed the slip, thinking it was intended and laughing loudly at the funny wolf.

"Grandmother, what big ears you have!"

"All the better to hear with, my child."

"Grandmother, what big eyes you have!"

"All the better to see with, my child."

"Grandmother, what big teeth you have!"

"All the better to eat you with, my dear!" the last words were growled loudly out, and Wolfram jumped out of bed and started chasing Yuuri arround the house.

_Almost too late, Little Red Riding Hood realized that the person in the bed was not her Grandmother, but a hungry wolf._

_She ran across the room and through the door, shouting, "Help! Wolf!" as loudly as she could._

_A woodsman who was chopping logs nearby heard her cry and ran towards the cottage as fast as he could_.

The two boys run from grandmothers house and to the middle of the stage, Yuuri yelling for help, and Wolfram growling that he will eat 'her'. From the other side, Conrad ran in, holding a fake axe.

_He grabbed the wolf and made him spit out the poor Grandmother who was a bit frazzled by the whole experience, but still in one piece_.

While Anissina was saying that, Conrad grabed the 'wolf' and dragged him off stage, from where a few strange noices came, and then he came back, dragging Wolfram behind him, with Gunter as the grandmother following them. Gunter ran to his 'grandchild' and hugged him, making Wolfram hiss in anger.

"Oh Grandma, I was so scared!" Yuuri tried to continue with his role, but his voice came somewhat choked "I'll never speak to strangers or dawdle in the forest again."

"There, there, child. You've learned an important lesson. Thank goodness you shouted loud enough for this kind woodsman to hear you!" Gunter put the back of his hand against his forhead, and stood in a dramatic pose, still hugging Yuuri with one arm.

_The woodsman knocked out the wolf and carried him deep into the forest where he wouldn't bother anyone any longer._

_Little Red Riding Hood and her Grandmother invited the brave woodsman to have lunch with them and they all had a nice long chat._

_The End._

Anissina finished the story, closing the book in her lap loudly, and the curtain came down to a deafening roar and the applause of the children. All the 'actors' came out and gave a low bow for their young audience, before leaving the stage and going to change.

Greta stood on her chair, clapping and laughing, more happy then she ever was in her life. Soon, both her 'dads' came, now dressed normally, and there was to be another surprise for the little girl.

As the earth custom says, there can't be birthday party, without a birthday cake. So, once all the children were seated at the many tables prepared for the ocasion, Doria, Sangria and Lasagna carried in a huge cake, with little bearbees made from sugar on it, and some candles burning on top. There was only one 'birthday cake' but every child would get a piece of a cake like this, the delicious sweets prepared by many of the towns woman, who voluntiered to help.

When Greta asked about the candles, Yuuri told her about the birthday wishes, "People on earth belive, that if you say a wish and then blow the candles on your cake, the wish will come true. But it can only be one wish, and it has to come from the bottom of your heart," he explained in that kind and calm way he had, making his blond fiance roll his eyes.

Greta's eyes got impossibly big, and she looked seriously at the cake. The kids around her shouted different wishes her way, one of them telling her to wish for a dog, another for her own castle, one of the girls yelling she should wish for a handsome prince to marry her. Greta looked at the cake, at her fathers, and with a decisive nod and a big smile announced,

"I wish that Yuuri and Wolfram would get married, so that we can become a true family!" and then blew all the candles.

Wolfram turned to look at his slightly pale fiance, with a smirk on his face, "Now, now, Yuuri, we can't disappoint our daughter now, _can we?_"

Yuuri felt his eye twitching again. His only reply was a loud gulp and a forced laugh.

"Wimp!"

"Don't call me that!"

Owari.

AN: If people decide it doesn't totally suck, it may have a sequel. Thanks for reading!

The bits of story were taken from here: /rhymes/littlered/10.htm and here: /dash/type0333.html than mixed up, and at places changed by me.


End file.
